
We’re told this is the most consequential election in our lifetime. It’s certainly among the most puzzling.
Is there a better word for the lately-released Conservative ad featuring two old guys at the driving range dissing Mark Carney and his Liberals?
It’s a brilliant piece of filming in one sense, given that it’s 100 per cent true to life. That’s exactly what old guys at the driving range look like, talk like and swing like. These are perfect renditions of authentic old white guys (like me) out whacking balls (like me) and beefing that Ottawa’s filled with a pack of imbeciles who are slowly but surely driving the economy into the ground (totally like me).
But wait a minute. Let’s be honest for a moment: in the entire history of the world, have any old guys, white or otherwise, been as supported, protected and generally looked after as Canadian boomers? And who, exactly, put in place the programs that provide the costly safety net that keeps things that way, if not boomers? We spent 70 years in charge of this country, now we want to decry the result? If I didn’t know better I’d suspect the intent was subversively satirical, lampooning retirees with the money and time to putter away another day on the range, complaining about the economy. But campaign ad writers aren’t that subtle.
Maybe this is the Tories’ way of distinguishing themselves from the Liberals’ happy slappy Mike Myers moment, which seeks to extinguish the memory of Justin Trudeau by sticking Mark Carney in exactly the sort of celebrity moment Justin Trudeau would kill for.
The ads are a mirror of a campaign predicated on the assertion Canada faces a critical, perhaps existential moment in its history while simultaneously filling the air with a set of discrepancies, contradictions and inconsistencies complicating even a vaguely educated guess as to which set of remedies it’s safe to bet the farm on.
Mark Carney’s contribution to the confusion is spelled out in the Liberal party platform. Launched over Easter weekend — because Easter Sunday is obviously when people turn their thoughts to national politics — it contradicts everything the new party leader has been telling us about himself. While claiming to be sober, pragmatic and considered, with a catalytic agenda focused firmly on the bottom line, Carney nonetheless takes every wild Trudeau spending impulse of the past nine years and doubles the wager. It’s as if 12 years as a central banker being cautious with people’s money left him desperate for just one big devil-may-care blowout.
The key to righting the economy, the Liberal boss has told us time and again, is to spend less and invest more. The way to spend less, apparently, is to
in an extra $130 billion above and beyond the bloated figure Chrystia Freeland was preparing to announce in her final budget as finance minister before she abruptly decided she couldn’t live with it any more. More debt than Trudeau planned, no timeline to a balanced budget, billions more for the sort of social engineering Trudeau favoured and which does nothing to generate investment or strengthen economic growth, which Carney insists is his paramount priority.
The trick to this is simple: Carney Liberals don’t count investing as spending. Yes, the money goes out, but you get a bridge or a port or maybe even a pipeline in return. These generate revenue that offset the cost, justifying debt and deficits far beyond anything Justin Trudeau ever imagined. Voters are expected to accept this as proof Trudeau’s successor has a far tighter grip on the public purse.
In contrast to their proprietorial math, Liberals depict Pierre Poilievre as a close-fisted tightwad. A Poilievre government, they predict, would cut cut cut, chopping benefits, hemorrhaging jobs and turning Canada into a sad shadow of what could have been. The crisis facing Canada, Carney declared as the final week of campaigning opened, is even worse than the one faced by Jean Chrétien and Paul Martin in 1995, seemingly unaware that Chrétien and Martin attacked that crisis not by supercharging expenditures but by
taxes and slashing expenditures, producing a decade of surpluses and buoyant growth that Liberals have been bragging about ever since.
On Tuesday Poilievre spoiled the Liberals’ caricature of him by demonstrating he could match Carney one-to-one on extravagant spending plans, releasing a
stuffed with more than $100 billion in tax cuts and new spending. Like the Liberals, a Conservative government
dedicate more money to housing, more money to defence, a bigger tax cut than Carney is promising, and a meatier package of promises than Liberals offer for seniors, whether they play golf or not. Like the Liberals, Tories hope to pay for it all by generating revenue from a stronger economy and income from tariffs. Like the Liberals there would be no date set for a balanced budget. Like the Liberals, the Tories expect to find hidden billions in efficiencies and a war on waste. Like the Liberals, there’s a lot of guessing going on with the figures.
For reasons left unexplained, Conservatives waited until after advance polls had closed before unveiling their plan, meaning more than seven million voters had already cast their ballot, making the big reveal somewhat redundant. The Tories could have promised free gold bars to everyone in Canada and it couldn’t have changed one of those votes. For a party arguing it knows a better way to run the country it was perplexing at best.
No matter. Faced with a conundrum — hey, those Tories would break the bank just like us! — Liberals had to think quick for a response, and came up with a blast from the past: There’s a secret agenda! Poilievre, Carney charged, is “hiding his plan.” There are cuts in store, big ones! He’s just not telling us where they are. Just like Stephen Harper had secret plans to limit abortion. Ok that never happened, but this time for sure!
One of these two manifestos will become the blueprint for the next government, which will be headed by one of two men who portray themselves in one way while acting in another, promising to bring prudence and discipline to the economy while throwing around spending promises like confetti at a wedding. A lot of us thought we’d had enough of that.
National Post








