Well, I guess we’re in an election campaign

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Well, we’re in a campaign.

It gets earlier and earlier every year, doesn’t it?

It’s just that the traditional campaign period used to mean something, y’know?

It used to be that the campaign period was about getting together your friends and receiving information from the various political parties in order to make an informed decision as to which party best represents your values.

But now?  It’s like elections have gotten too commercialized.

Today, just as Justin P.J. Trudeau, leader of the federal Liberal Party and noted boxing enthusiast, was about to address his literally dozens of MPs, an email came to us denizens of the Press Gallery from a wily media relations coordinator from the Prime Minister’s Office.

Stephen Lecce —a man certainly known for his cozy relationship with journalists and all-around helpfulness when it comes to answering questions and making available the Prime Minister for questions —used the subject line: “ Conservatives to Trudeau: you don’t have the judgement to lead”and asked the coordinators of the email list: “Hey guys: can you get this out??  Needs to move quickly, as a presser is about to start!”

Oh and luckily for us in the press gallery, it went right out!  Otherwise, we may have missed the crucial information found therein.

Thanks, Stephen Lecce, for being so gosh-darn helpful!

Unfortunately, the press release did sound an awful lot like an electoral pitch.

It was from MPs Chris Warkentin and Jacques Gourde.  We know they wrote it themselves because their names are right there, in the email!

“Liberals will be meeting in Edmonton today to tout the strength of Justin Trudeau’s so-called “team”, as they prepare for the 2015 election.”

(The emphasis on “team,” is my own.  Evidently, the press release is trying to convey some form of sarcasm.  That’s why they put quotation marks around it, even though it’s not a direct quote.  I thought I would highlight that.)

“While Justin celebrates the breadth of his team, I think every-day Canadians would be appalled that Justin Trudeau is courting the pro-drug vote with the impending nomination of Jodie Emery, Canada’s foremost pot legalization advocate.  Having visited Israel, I was shocked that Justin’s star candidate in Calgary Skyview, Darshan Kang participated in a radical anti-Israel rally that denounced the Middle’s East’s only democracy as ‘an apartheid state,’”reads the press release.

While I agree that every-day Canadians, more than a fifth of whom smoke pot, would take particular exception to the pro-drug vote, I really wonder about those who are Canadian every other day.  Do they support his dangerous plan to force-feed our youths heroin?  Only time will tell.

And as for the Mr. Kang’s Israel-hating, I’ll just defer to Warkentin, there.  He’s been to Israel.

(Either way, I’m voting for Kodos.)

While I find this rhetoric extremely helpful in order to do my job of reporting solid facts, I must confess that I hoped to avoid this informative exchange of ideas at least until we were in a formal election period.  After all, since this Prime Minister introduced fixed election laws, it is inconceivable that an election could be called before October of 2015.

“Just like his so-called “team”, Justin has led the pack by continuously demonstrating poor judgement.”

So he is ready to lead!

But, wait, he, like his team, is leading the pack?  And why is it his so-called team, if team is meant sarcastically? Is it not really his team?

I would like a few of these points clarified, Stephen.  Luckily, we have a great working relationship.

“Justin has committed to repealing our Government’s mandatory prison sentences for the most violent crimes – including child sexual offences and serious gun crimes.  This is in addition to his steadfast defence of his visit to a radical Wahabi mosque that is alleged to recruit for Al-Qaeda.  Yet again, Justin has decided to advance interests of violent criminals and extremists, over law-abiding Canadian families.”

Woah, a lot of useful information in there, Stephen!

I already agree that Trudeau’s coalition of rapists, gang bangers and terrorists is worrying.  I, for one, would not trust that man to lead any sort of criminal organization.

And, frankly, it would be helpful if Trudeau did not insist on child molestation, the complete deregulation of firearms, and recruiting terrorists.  Maybe if it were just one, that would be fine.  But all three is too much for those law-abiding Canadian families.

“From the economy, to our security, to First Nations accountability and Canada’s role on the world stage – Justin Trudeau and his team have consistently demonstrated one truth: they lack the judgement to lead.”

Wait, is “team”not sarcastic anymore?  God! I’ve lost track!

Nevertheless, I really appreciate this helpful and informative press release coming from those accessible staffers in the Prime Minister’s Office.  Our tax dollars are delivering real value!

It is getting such that I don’t even need to call the office anymore, because all my questions are immediately answered by these all-encompassing emails.

While this sort of release is usually fielded by the Conservative Party of Canada —they are the political wing of the government, and their salaries are paid by their supporters, not the taxpayer —they were very busy today.

Because today the Conservative Party announced something cool!

While they haven’t told us what it is yet, we’ve been assured that it is cool!

The hip cats at the Conservative Party even designed a rad logo for the swinging new initiative, which promises to be the bee’s knees.

All I can say is that I sure hope it doesn’t have anything to do with an upcoming election because boy jeez, it’s not supposed to be for another year!

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OTHER ARTICLES BY JUSTIN LING

Supply Management. You’re welcome, consumers.
Justin Trudeau should be selling pot to our kids
Harper will win again… maybe
Trudeau’s fortunes are fragile
Voters don’t trust the NDP on the economy

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Follow Justin Ling on twitter: @Justin_Ling

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