Election 2019 Roundup II: The Wrath of Cons

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In a discussion with my group chat over who will get our vote this cycle, we concluded that the only party left that we can stand is the Animal Protection Party of Canada.  So that’s been my week.  Let’s get to everyone else’s week.

  1. Add “previous Liberal government” back to the drinking game

It probably wasn’t a good idea for Conservative leader Andrew Scheer to promise an inquiry into the SNC-Lavalin scandal during the same week that talk of impeaching U.S. President Donald Trump truly kicked off.  It only highlights how very Canadian this scandal was, and how easily it can be ignored when Trump does worse.  But even if his timing were perfect, what good would an inquiry do, other than to give the Conservatives, if they should form government, a year or two to waste everyone’s time on a Liberal matter we already understand instead of building a record of their own?

There is a second part to his promise: allowing the RCMP to apply to the Supreme Court for access to information protected by cabinet confidentiality.  He calls this the “No More Cover Ups Act,” even though this byzantine process would not outright eliminate the possibility of cover-ups.  But the real problem he should be aiming to fix is not cabinet confidentiality, but government’s coziness with big business.  Since he is only pledging to cut $1.5 billion of Canada’s estimated $29 billion annual corporate welfare spend, don’t hold your breath.

  1. Did you know Justin likes canoes?  DID YOU?!

Living in the Pacific Northwest, where deer regularly visit our backyard and bald eagles can often be spotted at the nearby state park, I have developed a new fondness for political commitments to environmental conservation and outdoor education.  But that didn’t stop me from groaning out loud when I read Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pledge that, under his second mandate, low-income families will receive a $2,000 bursary to camp in national or provincial parks, with help from the good people at VIA Rail.

Except many of those parks are not directly accessible by train; of the parks the Liberals named, Banff is three to four hours north of the station in Jasper, and there are no VIA stations at all in Newfoundland, which leaves Gros Morne out.  $2,000 may not be enough to cover a family’s worth of equipment and food, on top of extra transportation.  Low-income families may have more important uses for an extra four-figure sum.  Plus they may not be able or willing to take days off to use it for this purpose.  I don’t know who they think they’re helping with this idea, other than Trudeau himself, because he has never met a canoe-related photo op he didn’t love.

  1. Speaking of big business coziness…

Perhaps no sector of the Canadian economy is more universally loathed than the telecom sector.  What do the Liberals plan to do about their overcharging?  Threaten them with increased competition unless they lower their charges by 25 percent.  What does the NDP plan to do?  Cap their charges and say nothing of increasing competition.  As far as the NDP is concerned, the government should feel free to pursue any avenue of redress against gouge-happy corporations, no matter how few such avenues consumers get.

  1. Cups should roll for this

The art of communication is a two-way process, which means that its specialists must always confirm certain details with the people for whom they communicate before they do – like what kind of cup they were actually using, for example.  In their zeal to spare Green Party leader Elizabeth May from being razzed over being photographed with a single-use plastic drinking cup, party staff did not think to ask her if that’s actually what she was holding.  Turns out the cup was reusable and compostable, which means they created the embarrassing coverage they sought to avert.  The Photoshop game is on point, but I pity the poor graphic artist who wasted their skill on this.

  1. Now they’ll have to find something else to do.  Like watching paint dry.

Thoughts and prayers to all those who planned to spend their weekend watching professional drinking bird Dave Rubin agree with People’s Party leader Maxime Bernier in Hamilton.  It appears he has been forced to cancel the event due to prohibitive security costs imposed by Mohawk College, following threats of disruption from local radical leftists.  To which I say: Wrong approach, kids.  People like Rubin and Bernier live to be cancelled on account of overzealous activists.  Just hold a more fun party across the street and pretend you didn’t know theirs was happening.

Photo Credit: National Post

More from Jess Morgan.    Follow Jess Morgan on Twitter at @JessAMorgan89.

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