Illegal blockades! Protestors blocking highways! Reporters rudely jostled as they try to enter the BC Legislature, then forced to climb up walls like Spider-Man! The Foreign Affairs Minister made late for a meeting! Cats and dogs living together! It’s chaos and anarchy, Canadian style!
The question on everyone’s lips is, “When will Prime Minister Multiple Ethics Violations and his clown car government do the right thing and enforce the rule of law?!”, only to be chided by self-appointed hall monitors that isn’t how we do things here in Canada, while still other commentators try very hard not to offend anyone by pointing out that the pipeline has the support of 100% of Indigenous bands along the route.
The bigger problem, which everyone is trying very hard to ignore, is that the real Canadian left – not those losers and sellouts who are actually elected to anything – are engaging in a concerted attempt to #ShutDownCanada, because they are making no secret of the fact that they loathe this country and everything about it. They want it gone, and replaced with….well, I don’t know exactly, because they haven’t thought that far ahead, but by cracky, they’re not going to sit idly by while actual events of consequence take place outside Canada. No, if they can’t get Canadians to listen to their online moanings, if people outside the country are barely paying attention to their attempts to influence the Democratic primary with Pete Buttigieg Bread Trutherism, then it’s time to BURN IT ALL DOWN by being nuisances in public places just like every other Canadian protest, or celebrating the suffering of Jordan Peterson and questioning the need for Christie Blatchford to have a somewhat respectful obituary.
But I can’t be too mad at the protestors, because they have done us all the service of showing exactly how easy it is to disrupt this ridiculous country. If these losers can grind Canada to a halt, it follows that the entire house of cards will come crashing down the second someone actually gets serious about taking over the country by force. And nobody, not the government, not the cops, and certainly not the media, has the first clue how to stop any of it. Our entire existence is a bubble perched on the end of a needle, and the only thing keeping it from popping is a collective, national act of self-delusion. Of course Canada works perfectly – why would anyone say otherwise? What possible reason could these malcontents have to be dissatisfied, living in the greatest country in history?
Hence the calls for a government which we know to be incompetent, and which we know will do nothing, to do something about these blockades. Hence the invocations of “Rule of Law! Rule of Law!” chanted like some incantation in the hope that it will restore order, much like the protestors yelling “Shaaaaaame!” at people who have none, or the pro-pipeline voices tweeting “100% band support for the pipeline!” as though the bands themselves will spontaneously rise up and start counter-protesting. But they all must perform the ritual, to give them some hope that this time, things will be different, and that we all won’t just forget about it and go back to normal in a few weeks.
The worst, of course, is the surprise at this situation, at the fact that we have people in this country who think they can do as they please with no consequences. “They shouldn’t be allowed to do that! I wouldn’t be allowed to do that! IT’S NOT FAIR!” The world is reeling under the assault of populism, Bernie Sanders is, impossibly, the front-runner to take down Donald Trump, and the failure of our institutions to deal with the expanding sense of chaos has been apparent for years now, and these good Canadians are just beginning to realize that no, things aren’t working the way they should. Better late than never, I suppose. But their absolute faith in the power, in the moral rightness of the state will not be shaken. The monsters can safely be put back in the closet, and we’ll all look back at this silliness and laugh ourselves sick.
Photo Credit: CBC News
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