There is a burning mass of hydrogen and helium, with core temperatures of up to 15 million C, blasting radiation across cities and towns in Canada.
It’s the sun. And, if we pay enough attention to Environment Canada and many of our nation’s broadcasters, we might be inclined to believe that our life-giving star is actually trying to kill us all.
Their warnings go something like this: If you’re elderly, at risk, live by yourself, have a wardrobe that is entirely comprised of Canada Goose parkas, are afraid of sunlight, or love living in a nanny state — then please, whip yourself into a frenzy and share your panic with those whom you love. The end times are nigh.
Summer solstice has once again brought us closer to Armageddon — with Earth’s axis tilting Canadians towards extreme warm weather anxiety. Pull out the map of Canada, and bathe it in crimson paint. Turn the whole thing red — everywhere is a danger zone. Peril abounds.
“Take action to protect yourself and others — extreme heat can affect everyone’s health. Determine if you or others around you are at greater risk of heat illness. Check on older adults, those living alone and other at-risk people in-person or on the phone multiple times a day,”
reads a generic warning given on the Environment Canada website
, including earlier this week for Ontario. “Heat stroke is a medical emergency!” (The explanation mark is theirs, not mine.)
The government organization said that
Ontario was facing “dangerous” heat and humidity this week
, with expected temperatures between 33C and 36C. On a 34C day in Toronto, the city’s official X account
: “Toronto is currently under a #HeatWarning. Residents are advised to stay indoors, if possible. Please, check on friends and family.”
We get it: it’s hot. Grandma has been alive for 85 years; she does not need the government to tell her to drink water and stay in the shade. Elderly persons have proven — through their mere longevity — that they understand the basic principles of keeping oneself alive through the four seasons. In fact, my grandmother might worry that I’m coming down with a case of early-onset dementia if I try calling her “multiple times a day” because the temperature is in the low to mid 30s.
Yes, certain populations are vulnerable to extreme or prolonged heat. In the summer of 2021, for instance, a B.C. heat wave
is thought to have contributed
to more than 600 excess deaths (deaths above what is regularly expected). However, there is a way for the government and public health officials to let us know that it will be above 30C without issuing warnings that make us look like a nation of hand-wringing church ladies who’ve found a stash of the devil’s lettuce under the children’s pew.
This includes not
every time we see temperatures in the 30s — also known as a nice summer day — to call 9-1-1 for medical emergencies. We know. Canada is not the Middle East, where temperatures have
in recent summers. I think I speak for most Canadians when I say: We’ve got this.
And yet, we can expect to see such headlines as “’
People are suffering’: Dangerous heat roasts Eastern Canada
”; and
about Canadians being “smothered” by “significant heat domes.” From the Weather Network: an “
” with temperatures that “have soared into the low to mid 30s.”
The
, a Canadian invention that “provides a number that describes how hot people feel” is often used to give the impression that “heat domes” are worse than they are. Never mind that,
according to the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety
, “(t)he relationship between humidex and comfort is subjective. It varies widely between individuals” — because it sure looks alarming to use Humidex values, rather than the actual temperature, on bright red, alarmist weather maps. Everyone panic, but please also remain calm, because panic may contribute to an increased core temperature.
Environment Canada
for issuing heat warnings across the country. In Nunavut, the government will issue a warning “when 2 or more consecutive days of daytime maximum temperatures are expected to reach 22C.” Why bother?
It would be swell if public health messaging refrained from treating Canadians as though we are a clueless bunch who need the government to hold our hands and remind us to stay hydrated and out of direct sunlight — lest we all succumb to a scorching, oppressive, and deadly 32C day.
We are tougher than that — aren’t we?
National Post
