There is undeniable artistry to Justin Trudeau's bloviation.  Compassionate yet determined, firm yet flexible, relaxing yet inspiring, he tells us there will be no fiscal update or budget because the situation is uncertain although certainly not in any way bad and we nod sleepily.

We should instead object that the budgetary situation is always uncertain, that government projections are notoriously unreliable in good times and bad, federally and provincially, here and abroad, and that we do not await such things because the PM is Moses and we seek stone tablets bearing the fiscal word of God.  Rather, Parliament and the nation need some idea what the politician we're currently loosely trusting with power is thinking so we can criticize it.

Any such retort would be displeasing and baffling to Trudeau on any number of levels including its blunt specificity.  And it would miss the point.  As I've argued before, Trudeau is the Canadian left's answer to Donald Trump.  Despite the superficial geniality, Trudeau is as tribal as Trump and as fact-free.

He's quick to show his fangs if someone says they're pro-life or questions sheltering SNC-Lavalin from prosecution, raise his elbow on the floor of the Commons if the vote doesn't go his way as fast as he wants, and minimize or conceal wrongdoing by his own MPs.  But if you're in his tribe Trudeau validates you and he's a master at it.

For instance the repeated hypnotic references to transparency make you feel so peaceful inside that it's hard to remember they're brazen lies or, worse, so empty of meaning that they can't rise to the level of falsehood.  They don't refer to anything specific and they're not meant to.  Ommmmmmmmmm.

Consider that this Tuesday the PM engaged in what passes in Canada for a "tense exchange" with a reporter who dared ask whether the government's reckless runaway borrowing to fund daily nine-figure handouts was sustainable.  Trudeau's mask slipped briefly when he realized the question was critical and tried to slap the reporter down.  But he recovered and responded with characteristic smoothness.

He's so soothing he was able to claim "our economy had to completely shut down" without frightening or angering anyone.  Yet it is infuriating nonsense; if our economy had completely shut down no food would have been produced, transported or sold.  Which gives you some idea what Trudeau knows about economics, or how much he cares to find out.

Instead the soothing phrases roll out with sublime assurance and effortless if empty tranquility: "the government chose to and needed to be there for people… measures to support Canadians right across the country… stay healthy… absolutely transparent every step of the way about these investments we're making for Canadians… supporting millions of Canadians… thousands and thousands of small businesses across this country get through this unprecedented time… Canada went into this crisis with a far better fiscal position than just about any other G7 country… coming through it extremely well… bounce back strongly… the kinds of things that we needed to do… as we move forward, because of historically low interest rates, the debt servicing costs will be low but we will need to look very carefully at how we remain fiscally responsible as we move forward… confidence once again in our economy and our future…"

Years ago Marshall McLuhan said "People don't read the morning paper, they slip into it like a warm bath".  It's certainly true of Trudeau's rhetoric; the comfortable phrases flow over us, the practiced, rhythmic "as we move forward" massaging away the knots of anxiety until you literally feel the tension seep out of you, the $1 trillion federal debt vanishes beneath the bubbles and you doze off and … AACK emerge spluttering.

At least I do.  Because the particular bromides quoted above were dispensed on Tuesday June 9.  But on Wednesday June 10 I read in the newspaper that "Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is ruling out providing a fiscal update on the nation's finances despite demands from opposition parties.  Trudeau said his government has been fully transparent about its spending on the pandemic, but providing a fiscal update would require a crystal ball on where the economy is headed."  Then "A core part of that," he burbled like a Zen garden fountain, "is predicting what things are going to look like for the rest of the year and for the coming years.  In this situation any prediction we make will be widely unreliable from one week to the next."

So the very same day he told us soothingly that he couldn't tell us what was going to happen he also told us soothingly what was going to happen, namely "because of historically low interest rates, the debt servicing costs will be low".  But instead of getting agitated, we relax.  That nice, dreamy, manly Mr. Trudeau with his "World's Least Interesting Man" beard would never say or do anything unsettling.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Clutching at the straw of facts to keep myself from sliding beneath the surface into oblivion, I point to the party's 2015 promises about a few years of small deficits and a quick return to balance and object that his essential-oily self-praise about how "Canada went into this crisis with a far better fiscal position than just about any other G7 country", even if true, concealed a promise made cynically and broken without visible pause for reflection let alone discomfort.  But even as I sputter it, I realize sadly that it misses the point of the artistry.

Trudeau's verbal performances are not about how the things he says at one moment connect to those he says at another, let alone to what he actually thinks or how either his words or his thoughts connect to his deeds and the facts.  They're about getting you to nirvana.  It's a totally post-modern narrative created and imposed by power to validate power, and it works by validating you provided you accept the power structure.

If not, you go under the bus which is a very nasty way to wake up.  Thus it would be harsh and jarring to ask whether Trudeau actually has projections about interest costs that show no real possibility of trouble and, if so, whether they're reasonable.

We don't know, and he's not going to show us.  You don't need to see those documents.  They don't exist.  They might exist.  If they exist Justin knows they're fine and you can relax.  You must relax.  You are getting sleepy.  But in a good way.  You feel safe with Justin.  These aren't the droids you're looking for.

It's serious business.  Like Trump, Trudeau routinely violates the principle of non-contradiction on which all of Western thought has been built for 2500 years and without which it does indeed crumble and sink beneath the waters.  But it's so hard to make a fuss when you feel this serene.

Photo Credit: Jeff Burney, Loonie Politics